One for the Road

Grandma saw grandpa touching Sammi intensively

As the days shorten so does my attention span. In pursuit of irrelevant knowledge to offset todays’ tangible accomplishments, I find myself adrift in a sea of Wikipedia - but to be fair, it is no Pacific. Roiling waves on soulless HTML batter my eye hatches as I sway forever onwards in an epic Markovian foray. Take me to the very limits of worthless knowledge, lord of Wikis! Out of respect, I will share the next three randomly generated articles I come across before my attention meanders elsewhere…

1. Piere Gandon. A Frenchman who lived to an admirable old age of 91 years. He made a name for himself by illustrating French postage stamps which were issued in several series from 1941 to 1983. Himself the son of a stamp engraver, he surpassed the achievements of his fathers’ name by winning several prestigious stamp making awards. In the end, his greatest commitment to the advancement of world culture is probably this filamentous representation of a mustache that really challenges stamp gazers to reconsider the acceptable valuations of both masculinity and stamp collecting.

2. Gord’s Gold, Vol. 2. Ah, I’m fortunate to land on this article detailing Gordon Lightfoot’s 1988 greatest hits album (vol 2). Now, this folk/adult-contemporary megastar may have suffered a few strokes since the swinging-80s, but his work stands the test of time where his body has failed. I’m obviously only referring to track 8, ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’ which captivated me (and I assume many other young boys) during my formative years. A real cerebral feast, here is a brief textual excerpt that hardly does justice to this aural methamphetamine:

When supper time came the old cook came on deck
Saying fellows it’s too rough to feed ya
At 7PM a main hatchway caved in
He said fellas it’s been good to know ya…

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee
Superior, they say, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early.

For the record, I’d like this song to be performed at my funeral (live) when that day comes.

3. Palindrome - every-one’s favorite little word trick! We (being Barack Obama voters) can all spit out “race car” or “a man, a plan, a canal - Panama” faster than the average Joe (or Sam Polish-man), but it seems a select few (socialists?) have taken it to a higher place. The Greeks originally identified the mind-tickling nature of the palindrome but it wasn’t until the 1600s that a fellow named Ben Jonson coined the English term. The original Greek words (καρκινική επιγραφή) actually referr to the ‘backwards motion of a crab’, a descriptive term still preferentially used in some conservative Alaskan school districts. Like all other aspects of human thought, computers have made trying to think up a new palindrome pretty moot for the rest of us. Wikipedia cites Peter Norvig as the programmer behind the code that produced a record breaking 17,000+ word long palindrome in the form of a completely incomprehensible sentence (as performed by the Palin drone herself, much to Katie Couric’s delight). He cited ‘beefing up my eHarmony profile’ as the main inspiration for this accomplishment. In the end though, my heart again falls for the little country with the big banking problem - Iceland - land of Sigur ros and Magnús Ver Magnússon (four time world strongest man champion). As an insight into the indomitable Icelandic spirit, I’ll leave you with their longest sensical palindrome:

Amma sá afa káfa af ákafa á Samma

or

“Grandma saw grandpa touching Sammi intensively”

Thank you Wikipedia. -kerb